The Many Faces of Fear … (Part One)

Noun: an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm*

Verb: to be afraid (of someone, something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful.*

This blog was written quite a while ago, in response to both clients and friends seeking advice. It’s ironic that just as I have finally got around to publishing it, I find myself having to start to confront my own fears about mountain terrain. Last summer I sustained a broken ankle slipping on loose material on a hill track. All would have been well had it not been for a football sized piece of rock, also on the move, that my left boot wrapped itself around – and then due to the gradient of the track the momentum of my body plus rucksack forced my leg over the offending rock. Both my leg bones snapped. I felt them go (shudder). However, for once, I was out on the hill with Iain. I think of all those times that I could have had some kind of accident while out in remote areas alone with no phone reception (just one of several fears that I will now have to overcome when I start going back out to the hills). So it was serendipitous that he was with me that day – but also that we were on our way down and about 15 minutes from the car park. We were also extremely fortunate that three very amazing people stopped (in two cases abandoning their ascent of the hill) to help get me down. We removed my boot and used my first aid kit contents to stabilise the ankle (I always carry a splint with me – I never dreamed that one day it would be deployed on me!). It took well over an hour for Iain, Rhys, Daniel and Dave to carry me down. I am immensely grateful to them and by way of thanks dedicate this post them.

Make no mistake: I will be needing to heed hefty doses of my own advice as I start my very long journey back to mobility and mountain fitness!

Fear experienced in the mountains tends to be caused by different factors (‘internal’ and ‘external’ – either or both – and any number) and if left unchecked can rapidly escalate. The way it manifests and is eventually expressed can depend a) on the individual b) the situation that they’re in and c) the people that they’re with. Once we recognise that fear can be a triggered by several (usually interrelated) factors, then, if we establish what these reasons are, we can try to deal with them one by one in order to overcome the overarching issue.

Most of us experience fear at some time or other when we’re out in the mountains. This is normal, but what matters is how we both deal with it and contain it. For some people that ‘fear’ threshold can be lower than for others, maybe because of their personality type, or perhaps there’s a past experience that triggers a fearful reaction. Or maybe because they’re being thrown into a situation they’ve never experienced before and, as a consequence, feel completely out of their depth.  Some people are able to analyse a fear-inducing situation in a coolheaded manner, deal with how they feel about it and move on with little or no difficulty, while others may have the ability to hide their fear very well while addressing the situation. But some individuals may not be so good at hiding their feelings. Finally, there are also those who get a real buzz out of fear and will channel this as a motivator to increase performance.  

Whatever the reaction, fear is not an emotion to be dismissed out of hand. I would even suggest that those who feel no fear whatsoever at any time are a cause for concern as they can be blocking danger signals. Fear, after all, is ultimately about self-preservation: it’s an early warning system so it may be telling you to proceed with caution due to (for example) environmental issues (e.g., avalanche risk) or to recognise the extent/limitation of your own experience/ability to deal with a situation. It can be pretty important to heed that voice and respond accordingly by assessing the risks and your skill level to help you work out whether your fear is valid – and why it’s valid – so you can overcome whatever obstacle – or decide an alternative – or even to retreat. Sometimes you may need to dig deep in order to understand why your early warning system has been triggered (past negative experience, perhaps?). Finally, it’s also worth remembering that levels of confidence – and hence fear, which is closely associated – can vary, in some cases quite dramatically, from day to day and from one time of day to another (walking in daylight/walking in twilight or darkness), not forgetting deteriorating weather conditions etc.

So first, let’s consider ‘types’ of fear:

1. Fear of the unknown: you have no idea what that route or day is going to be like, but you can imagine it. It grows into something impossible and terrifying, or worse – that unknown intangible something that you just can’t get a handle on. Uninformed visualisation (aka imagination!) is not always helpful.
2. Fear of the known: you have knowledge and experience that you bring with you to your mountain day, but this isn’t necessarily positive knowledge or experience. You’re already set up to experience fear and it continues throughout the day.
3. Anticipatory fear: akin to stage fright. Butterflies in stomach, sticky hands, raised heartbeat. Recedes once you’re committed or busy.
4. Fear in the moment: occurs as you make a particular scrambling move, or suddenly find yourself on a gradient that you are really not happy with, or perhaps being suddenly completely fazed by finding yourself in zero visibility conditions.
5. Paralysing fear: this is where you freeze and cannot move.

The different ‘Faces of Fear’ themselves derive from various emotions, complexes and awarenesses, also physical environment and external circumstances.

• Fear feeding off fear. It starts off with: ‘That’s a steep drop.’ Followed by: ‘And there are huge rocks, so if I fall I’m going to do myself same damage.’ Then: ‘And the ground is slippery… and loose.’ Leading to: ‘And my rucksack is pulling me off balance…’ In this case niggles that may have been at the back of the mind come crowding to the front and fuel that initial fear.
• Fear feeding off lack of control. ‘I don’t want to take this route. I wasn’t consulted about this. I can’t cope with this.’ Or ‘I need more time to mentally commit before making that move – don’t tell me I have to do it right now.’ (scrambling or climbing).  I remember sitting on a summit out in the Alps, roped up and being told to get on with it. The problem? Amongst other things, lousy conditions. While I couldn’t see the huge gaping drop, I knew it was there. I had to transfer myself from the boulder I was sitting on to a flattish rock, but, because I’m rather vertically challenged heightwise, this involved a jump rather than just being able to step across, the way most others were doing. The move was complicated by the fact that I had to do this in crampons onto a verglased surface and that the person behind me wanted to get on with leaving the summit. So there I sat, trying to psyche myself up to make that move. I needed to have control over WHEN I made that move. The trouble was that the person behind had other ideas and was now telling me in no uncertain terms that I had to move IMMEDIATELY  – and then started to push me. (He got rather short shrift from me …). Eventually I made the jump about 30 seconds later, after an internal dialogue about trusting my crampons and acknowledging the fact that I was roped up – but the point here is that I did not feel in control of the situation. Due to extremely busy conditions I was not being allowed to take the time to rationalise and deal with my fears and move on under my own terms.  
• Fear stemming from a lack of confidence. ‘I can’t do this. I failed to do this last time, how on earth can I do this now?’
• Fear developing through inferiority complex. ‘Everyone looks so calm and competent. Look at how easy they make that look.  There’s no way I can do what they’re doing. ‘ [This can be turned on its head to become, ‘If they can do it, so can I.’]
• Practical factors leading to fear such as lack of fitness, lack of skills can also contribute to a situation where a person might recognise these shortcomings and the consequent potential danger. Also: (for example) a storm moving in, white-out conditions, challenging terrain etc.

In Part Two, we will examine strategies for individuals to help dealing with overwhelming fear experienced in the mountains.

[*Note: Definitions of ‘fear’: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fear+definition&ie=&oe=]